Dear Thief-

Dear Thief-

I don’t know what kind of person you really are but I know at the lease you are a scummy asshole.

Stealing my debit card information, not my actual card, and hitting up the ATM must have made you feel really awesome. You must have felt like you were smart, witty, and soon to be rich. Transaction #1 for $500 was not enough, no? Just had to get another $200, didn’t you?!? Plus you just had to do it at another bank too so I go hit with 2 service fee making the grand total $706.

Thanks for making me freak out on an already sucky Monday morning. First day back at work isn’t annoying enough, you just had to throw this in.

Thanks for making me take an extra long lunch to deal with this crap. I now have the pleasure of making up that extra hour.

Thanks for making me have to file claims paperwork. There was much confusion about what God Damn address to send it to, the one I am at now or the new one. Send it to the current one because I am having the mail forwarded? Why am I saying that address when it doesn’t match the address on file? When will it be sent? How long will it take to get there? My name won’t be on the mailbox until the 31st. What’s the zip again? Trying to explain this to a robotic woman on the phone just doing her job trying to make sure I am myself, and not a thief, is not funny. (Although the bank of America guy named Chris and I had a good laugh about it later)

Thanks for making me have to get a temporary card and have to wait to a new one to arrive in 5-7 business days. I now can’t do any online ordering with this because it doesn’t even have my freaking name on it.

And most of all thanks for having me just through hoops changing me automatic bill pay information. Thankfully, Netfix, my gym membership, and book club have all just gone through. But now I have to deal with the other few that are going to be processed soon. Most worrisome is my Studio Calico membership billing, which will occur while I still have my temporary card.

So thank you asshole. This situation is exactly what I wanted to deal with right now, the week before moving, not like I don’t already have enough on my plate. I hope they catch your sorry ass on video surveillance cameras and you go to jail. And while your in jail you look at someone the wrong way. This will piss  them off just enough so they figure beating you is more important than some guard’s consequence.

Sincerely,

Nicole

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